How to Overcome Programming Bottlenecks

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I’m a shit programmer. If you put me and a monkey in front of blank screens, the monkey would spit out Shakespeare before I could code Facebook.

I’m a shit programmer. If you put me and a monkey in front of blank screens, the monkey would spit out Shakespeare before I could code Facebook.

I was stuck in a programming bottleneck on two issues today for about 6 hours. I triaged the first issue as it was more of an aesthetic nuisance that could be sorted later.  The second issue was one that I really wanted to solve today. It was something that I really thought I could and should solve quickly.

Once the want to meets the should be able to, I just can’t stop until I’ve hammered that problem into submission.

The way to do it is with Google and trial and error. Keep testing until you learn what the code is doing so that you can bend it to your will. Look for syntax and similar structural examples to help guide you through your code.

I succeeded today, with a lot of help from the internet as always.

More Implementer Than Coder

Even though I’m more primate than Zuckerberg when it comes to coding, I’m a pretty good problem solver and implementer.

99% of the time someone has already solved the problem that you’re having. This is especially true on mature platforms like WordPress. Most fixing is just a matter of finding some code to copy and pasting it in the right places.

In a more tangible real world example of this, I once opened a stuck laundry dryer by searching for, “How to manually open dryer model number LG-XXXX.”

We were staying at an AirBnB and before our laundress realized there was no power to the dryer, she loaded and closed the door. The door then required a completely disguised manual override to open.

I don’t know much about dryers, but I figured this must have happened to someone else already. A simple search returned a YouTube video showing me how to open it from underneath with a plastic tool that was tucked in the back of the detergent tray. Problem solved in two minutes.

I’m not a great coder and I’m not handy, but these days it doesn’t matter. An Internet connection and some common sense are all it takes to be the hero that fixes that pesky PHP bug or releases the garments from their cold cylindrical prison.

How seriously great this modern life is.

Despite the time sink, I still managed to put out two 300+ word blog posts, go down a Google Page Speed Insights rabbit hole on some improvements to my code base and work on a third website project.

When you spend 6 hours in a programming bottleneck, that just means you have to work 12 or 18 hours to keep pace with your planned output.

Perseverance, meet execution. Have a great day.

Bonus Tip: If anyone wants to deregister conflicting pre-existing jquery libraries and load them directly from Google’s CDN, using the WordPress enqueue function, follow the link for some sweet code. And, if you’d then like to improve page speeds by asynchronously loading any scripts using said function, you can follow the link to this even sweeter code.